Let Everything that has Breasts … Praise the Lord!

Like a lot of moviegoers, I recently had the opportunity to see the hit movie, Gravity with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney.  My grandson talked me into taking him to the movie and while Gravity was cinematically and visually stunning, this movie only confirmed to me what I already knew:   I have no desire to ever go into space or live my life as an astronaut.

I’m one of those people who have a propensity for seeing the “God clues” in everything in life. Not surprisingly, this movie was stamped with God’s fingerprints all over the place. I’m sure scientists galore have theories on the whole gravity thing, but I found myself continually marveling at the fact that God manages to keep our world spinning on its invisible axis while at the same time, anchoring all of us to the ground.  I realize that a good portion of the movie was likely the result of some very superb computer graphics imagery, but regardless of the Hollywood visual effects, the Earth is a magnificent planet supremely designed by a master architect – none other than God, Himself.

The mere concept of gravity can be a bit mind-boggling at times. What really baffles me is that if God and gravity are able to keep the planets all perfectly aligned in our solar system and contain the oceans so they don’t slide off the planet and sluice into outer space why can’t gravity keep my breasts from falling onto my stomach? If gravity keeps humans anchored on the ground and airplanes flying in the air – why do all of my body parts droop and sag with age?

This being national breast cancer awareness month, I am more painfully aware of the constant tug of war waging between my breasts, Mr. Gravity and Father Time.  Sadly the degree to which a woman’s breasts fall and sag is directly proportional to her age, the number of pregnancies and the importance we’ve placed upon the wearing of our Cross-Your-Heart’s and our Delta Burke’s i.e., proper fitting foundation garments.   (Man, that Delta Burke knows a thing or two about bras!)  Victoria’s Secret is really no secret at all –a woman should always support her twin peaks!

I for one am grateful that our culture encourages the regular wearing of brassieres.  Unfettered breasts pose serious health threats such as being a tripping hazard as they could possibly become entangled in your feet; as well as they have been known to  cause severe eye damage whilst running.

The one bright side to sagging breasts is they have the same elasticity as Silly Putty and are much more malleable making a mammogram somewhat simpler.  No less uncomfortable mind you – just easier.  I developed a newfound appreciation for my own saggy sisters while scrubbing my kitchen tile grout recently.  Who knew saggy breasts could work so efficiently as knee pads.

On a more serious note, I am a big advocate of annual mammograms as it was a mammogram that discovered a small cancerous lump during my mother’s routine procedure many years ago.  We can’t do much about Mr. Gravity’s love affair with our body parts or the subtle seduction of Father Time, but we can totally take control of our health by performing regular self-examinations and getting screened for breast cancer with an annual mammogram.

Yes it’s true that some things are breast left alone, while others would do breast to schedule a routine exam with a trusted health care professional. You’d breast have a mammogram if you are over the age of 35 and even earlier if you have a family history of breast cancer.

Nothing much left to say except, let everything that has breasts praise the Lord! Breast wishes to all my bosom buddies!

Happy reading … Kathy K.